New Rules: Humanist weddings allowed

The UK government’s new legislation, regarding the ‘rule of 6’ and the amended rules around weddings, allows Humanist weddings under ‘belief’ weddings, to a maximum number of 30.

This is great news for Humanist weddings, as we have been striving to be identified as secular/non-religious belief weddings. Humanists believe in looking to science, reason, empathy and compassion in order to live an ethical and meaningful life. We believe that people don’t need religion to hold good moral values.

Are you a humanist? Here is a fun little quiz that you can take or share.

Are you looking for a humanist wedding celebrant?

I’m available:

  • 10th/11th October
  • 17th/18th October
  • 24th/25th October
  • 31st October/1st November
  • 14th/15th November
  • 21st/22nd November
  • 28th/29th November
  • 5th/6th December

I live between Brighton and London, and I’m happy to travel anywhere over the South East (Surrey, East Sussex, West Sussex, Kent, Hampshire, Essex).

Thinking about having a humanist wedding in 2021?

2021 looks optimistically as if there’ll be a lot of weddings, as many couples have had to delay their weddings and other couples have decided to lock down their love after lockdown.

On top of that, Humanists UK has been supporting six couples in High Court and as an accredited Humanists UK celebrant, I’m keeping a close eye and holding onto the hope that we will succeed in gaining legal recognition of humanist marriage in England and Wales, as they have done in Scotland (since 2005), the Republic of Ireland (2012), Northern Ireland (2018), Jersey (2019), Guernsey (agreed-2021+). This means that by choosing a wedding celebrant who is accredited with Humanists UK, you may be able to avoid the extra expense and effort of a registrar in 2021. I’m keeping all my couples updated with any news!

I’ve still got availability in May, one weekend in June, and Saturdays in July, August and September so please get in touch! I’m also going to start researching and putting together a list of beautiful venues and locations in London and the South East with availability too. So please get in touch if you’re thinking about having a humanist wedding in 2021!

Update on weddings 2020

Never did any of us imagine the disaster of a global pandemic in 2020.

My heart goes out to every couple who have had their dream day disrupted by this, as well as people whose livelihoods rely on the wedding season.

Two of my couples have had to move their May/June weddings to 2021 already. Just to note for any couples reading this, prospective or booked, I’m still available on these Saturday dates:

22nd August 2020 – available

29th August 2020 – available

19th September 2020 – available

26th September 2020 – available

Also, available on Sunday 30th August (the following day is a bank holiday) And I can be available on other days and October onwards.

For any couples who book with me, of course, there is no cost for re-scheduling dates and I have plenty of availability.

Having spent the last few weeks feeling lost in coronaville, the onset of Spring and all its blooming glorious blossom and bluebells, and the beautiful sunshine that’s beamed on our long weekend is bringing a bounce back to my step. Time to get back to the love stories…

If you need to chat about your wedding, or plans, or have any questions at all, please get in touch.

Reassurance/Advice re: Coronavirus and Weddings Summer 2020

Strange times and how this affects our couples and their weddings this year is unknown. ‘Keep calm and carry on’ seems to be as poignant a message today as it was for our grandparents and great grandparents. 

So, the following are just some positive actions/thoughts for my couples this summertime, that I thought I’d share. As the situation is changing daily, there’s also list of the most useful, updated official advice further below:

  • Of course, I’m happy to hold meetings via Skype/Facetime during the next month, to avoid unnecessary travel or contact. Please be assured that I will let you know immediately if I have to self-isolate; this hasn’t happened and I’ve always been slightly OCD about hand-washing/personal hygiene anyway.
  • If you wish to organise the filming of your wedding ceremony for friends and relatives who are unable to travel, or are over 70 and do not wish to risk travel, please note that I’m happy to help with that. We can stage the ceremony so that the audience, whether in the same vicinity or elsewhere, can be part of your wedding ceremony. Your ceremony could be streamed live (I’ve done this before and it worked brilliantly). There are small adjustments we can make to ensure the ceremony is visible and can be heard. Also, I have trusted videographers I can recommend, or we can set up something simple, depending on budget.
  • It’s good to reassure your guests that your humanist wedding can be held anywhere, and many can be held outside, or in larger spaces, so the guests can be arranged spaciously. We don’t have to conform to any layout, which might help if you decide to segregate people ‘at risk’ from other guests in close quarters.
  • If you are considering rebooking, please see my calendar below, which shows committed dates, as I still have a lot of availability and of course, I’ll be as flexible as possible if you decide to move your wedding ceremony to a different date.

I understand that this must be a worrying time for all of you who are organising weddings. 

On a personal note, my brother lives in Hong Kong (with his wife and my two young nieces) and he sent a reassuring message that the situation seems to be getting better there now.

With large scale festivals and events being cancelled, and so much self-isolation currently happening, the optimist in me thinks that the chances to come together for family and friends to celebrate your weddings with you will be even more meaningful.  

Please stay safe and keep well. TashaXx

Dates currently unavailable:

30.05.20
06.06.20
18.07.20
25.07.19
01.08.20
08.08.20
15.08.20
05.09.20
12.09.20
06.11.20

Links to Official Advice:

The Government’s Response. Includes a detailed guide to the government’s response and includes recommended publications and specialist blogs.

– NHS Overview. Provides valuable public health information on the coronavirus and important advice on the associated risks.

– Latest Government Advice. Contains a comprehensive breakdown of all Coronavirus areas of concern.

– Twitter Updates. Receive accurate and reliable information directly from the UK Department for Health and Social Care.

Please be advised that the government and NHS links are updated live due to the rapidly changing situation.

Love and Happiness Lasts Four Times Longer with a Humanist Wedding

In Scotland, humanist weddings have had legal recognition since 2005. This legal recognition means we are able, as accredited humanist celebrants, to ‘do the legal bit’ in addition to the personalised ceremony in Scotland (but not yet England or Wales).

In the last few years, the Republic of Ireland, Northern Ireland and Jersey, the Channel Islands, have also updated their marriage laws to allow couples to have a legally-binding humanist wedding.

Humanists UK decided to look at the figures from Scotland, where humanist celebrants now lead more marriages, than Church of Scotland or Roman Catholic. There were 5,072 humanist marriages in Scotland between 2017 and 2018, compared to 3,166 Church of Scotland and 1,182 Roman Catholic (ref: Independent, 2019).

They discovered that couples who choose a humanist wedding are almost four times less likely to divorce than those who married in any other type of ceremony (religious or civil).

Chief Executive of Humanists UK, Andrew Copson, said:

“These figures show what a good start for couples a humanist wedding can be. Humanist weddings are deeply personal, with a unique ceremony crafted for each couple by a celebrant that gets to know them well.”

Perhaps one reason is that couples who choose a humanist wedding ceremony are carefully considering every element, including their own wishes and desire to get married, and placing emphasis on what is really the most significant part of the day.

Thanks to all my couples this summer

As the wedding season is coming to a close, I just want to say a huge thank you to all my couples this summer.
I love being a wedding celebrant. Creating a meaningful, memorable wedding ceremony that is as unique as each couple for whom it’s created. Meeting and getting to know such interesting people so well. It is a real pleasure.
Creating a great humanist wedding ceremony involves the art of story-telling, script-writing and stage direction. It involves bucketloads of creativity and empathy in equal measure.
It involves brain-storming lots of relevant ideas (some that resonate, some that don’t) and lots of research into different walks of life, or poetry and readings, that you might not have even come across.
It’s an adventure, a kind of exploration, and when that gold nugget of an idea, or simple turn of phrase, is found, it’s really exciting.
The best part is during the wedding ceremony itself; seeing the faces of my couples lit up and so happy, knowing that this is a moment that they’ll remember for the rest of their lives.
Thank you for choosing me.

Guernsey weddings

The island of Jersey

Jersey, in the Channel Islands, looks likely to give legal recognition to humanist marriage. They have decided to update the outdated marriage laws, to recognise same sex marriage and humanist marriage, which is exciting news for islanders and people in the U.K.

Jersey, in the Channel Islands, is a stunningly beautiful island that is located near France. The largest of the Channel Islands, it has a wide selection of hotels, historic buildings and sandy beaches. It also benefits from having economical Easyjet flights and is well-connected to UK airports.
Although it’s only a short flight from the U.K, its incredible beauty and microclimate mean it truly feels like a holiday destination.

At the moment, the only accredited, trained and experienced celebrant in the Channel Islands is Gary Vaudin. I was lucky to have been assigned Gary as my mentor whilst I was living in Guernsey. Gary is extremely well-respected on the island as a wedding and funeral celebrant/funeral director.

Unforeseen circumstances sadly meant that my daughter and I had to return to the U.K. but we still visit as much as possible and I am very keen on any opportunity to come back to conduct weddings and I can carry out most meetings via Skype/Facetime.

Humanist Ceremonies are training new celebrants for Jersey and they are being well-guided by mentors in the U.K. All celebrants will have to work to the same code of conduct, and standards of practice.

As accredited celebrants, with Humanists UK (formerly known as the British Humanist Association), we are able to gain permission to conduct weddings with legal recognition in Scotland. Our Head of Ceremonies was able to conduct a wedding with legal recognition in Northern Ireland last year. Hopefully, as legal recognition for humanist marriage is achieved, we will be in the position to conduct meaningful, non-religious weddings in all parts of the British Isles.

Humanists UK continues to campaign on the behalf of non-religious people (now 53% of the population) for their right to have a humanist wedding that is legally recognised (omitting the need for a registrar).
If you have any questions or would like to discuss the possibility of a humanist wedding in Jersey, Guernsey or anywhere in the Channel Islands, please do get in touch.

legal humanist ceremony

Legalising it

Is a humanist wedding legal?
Humanist marriage gained legal recognition in Scotland in 2005 and the Republic of Ireland in 2012. Earlier this year, in June 2017, a humanist couple, spokesperson/model, Laura LaCole and pro footballer, Eunan O’Kane, won their right to have a legal humanist wedding ceremony in Northern Ireland.
They had the first humanist wedding with legal recognition in the United Kingdom in June.
However, the Attorney General appealed and we are still waiting for the outcome of a further hearing.
Scottish Humanist Weddings
With Scotland celebrating its 50,000th legal humanist wedding since 2005 this summer, it can feel like the rest of the UK is still in the dark ages. Humanists UK have been campaigning for the legal recognition of humanist marriage on the grounds of equality; it should be the equal right for non-religious people to have legal humanist wedding ceremonies.

In Scotland, humanist weddings are like Jewish weddings, in that they can be held anywhere. Jewish weddings do not need a licensed venue, just a Rabbi. In the same way, a humanist wedding ceremony would simply need an accredited humanist celebrant. This is important as by choosing a Humanist Ceremonies accredited celebrant, it means that if the marriage laws are brought up to date to allow legal humanist weddings, then your celebrant may be able to do the legal part (which currently has to be done by a registrar).
The legal part is simply a couple of standardised sentences, so these could be easily slipped into your unique, personalised humanist ceremony.

It’s also worth knowing that we Humanist Ceremonies celebrants have an arrangement with Scotland so we can go to Scotland and conduct legal humanist wedding ceremonies there. If you are interested in having your wedding in Scotland and you are looking for a humanist celebrant, please get in touch. Most of us celebrants are happy to travel to the Highlands to conduct a legal humanist wedding!

Do we need to go to a registrar?

In the UK, at the time of writing, you will need to go to the registrar for the ‘legal bit’. However, you can save the ring exchange, the meaningful words, the promises, the readings and all the parts that make your unique, memorable wedding ceremony, for your humanist wedding ceremony. You can go to the registrar a few days or weeks before your wedding day, or afterwards. So, that flexibility means you can choose the cheapest midweek option at the registrar.

What’s the difference between a registar’s wedding ceremony and a humanist one?
A humanist celebrant will take time to get to know you, to collaborate creatively, and research and write a personalised ceremony for you. A registar will probably use the same script with gap fills for your name.
Unlike a registrar, who may do several ceremonies in one day, a humanist celebrant will tend to only take one wedding ceremony on one day so it is not rushed. In fact, many couples prefer the fact that there is nothing rushed about a humanist ceremony, although they can be as long or as short as you decide.

I have worked with a registrar in the past, who came to the wedding ceremony. We had a break of music to clearly define the difference between her legal part (which was only a few minutes’ long) and the humanist ceremony. The registrar was really easy to work with, as we were both focussed on the couple themselves, and what the couple wanted. Family and friends all really enjoyed the humanist ceremony; without which, it would have not felt as meaningful.

Personally, as a humanist celebrant and free thinker, I dream of the day that we gain legal recognition for humanist marriage and a time when it will be extraordinary to think that this human right was ever denied to humanist or non-religious people.
Same sex marriage laws have finally been changed, so now it’s time to consider non-religious and humanist people too.
(NB These are all my own views/opinions)

Story-telling

Winter is coming and it’s time for cosy nights in, researching and writing the first drafts of ceremonies.

One of the great parts of being a celebrant is hearing the unique true stories of what brought people together, how they met, what made them fall in love, the reasons they have stayed together and perhaps the proposal, or their shared passions.

A personalised ceremony script gives you a chance to have your story told in a way that will resonate with your friends and family. It’s also a chance to choose what you wish to be said, way before any speeches at dinner.

There’s an art to writing the story so that it is captures people’s attention and evokes emotion; I always think that if we see smiles and some tears (of joy) then it is a success.
We can also include subtle references or inside jokes that only you both will know, or even some surprises for your friends and family.

Many of the couples I meet have met online and think that there is little to be told of how they met; but we often find appealing anecdotes in the early days of their dates, or in other parts of their story together.

Unlike a best man’s speech, you have complete control of the ceremony script, so we can edit, or completely change it, as you wish.

And after the ceremony, I give you a presentation script, so you will always have your own love story to be able to share with future generations.

8 Tips for Outdoor Weddings

Outdoor weddings are incredible. There is something really special about choosing a unique, picturesque location for your wedding ceremony. This might be a garden, a terrace, a woodland, in a park, on a canal boat, on a bridge over a river, or a pier out to sea.
Humanist wedding ceremonies can be anywhere, at anytime. We all know that British summers are lush, green and unpredictable. Rain is the pain that is always on the bridal brain in the run up to the big day.
But, as Dolly Parton once wisely said, “The way I see it, if you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain.”
1.Cover outdoor chairs with plastic so your guests don’t have to deal with wet bums. Get the groomsmen, or close friends, to remove the covers before the bride’s entrance.
2.Are your photographers prepared for cloudier skies and the light being low? Extra lighting, especially in early evenings with cloudy skies, might be necessary.
3.Buy a bulk box of cheap umbrellas.
4.Make sure you have a microphone and a portable speaker for music (with rain covers too).
5.Have a roll of mat for the aisle, so it can be rolled out before the bride’s dress gets splattered.
6.Make sure the ceremony script and readings are in a plastic pocketed, leather presentation book.
7. Make sure outdoor furniture is weighted down. That nothing is going to suddenly start to fly away!
8.The wind. Think about your hair style. I’m serious! If it’s windy, you may find it tricky to see; slides and hairspray (for the guys and girls) might help.